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Divorce

Divorce, whether it is being contemplated or a fact, is never pleasant nor is it desired. God's Word never supports divorce, but does offer guidance, encouragement, hope and love to those involved: a husband, a wife, and also the children of divorce.

It is most important to recognize that while God hates divorce, He loves the divorced and He loves the remarried divorced. His great heart of love is broken when we, His children, insist on hurting one another and contravening His plans for redemption and reconciliation.

What Scripture Says
When Reconciliation Is Possible
When Reconciliation Is Not Possible
As You Pray
Suggested Reading

What Scripture Says

"'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?' And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning made them male and female, and said, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh?" So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.' They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?' He said to them, 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so. And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery'" (Matthew 19:3b-9).

"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace" (1 Corinthians 7:10-15).

"When Jesus had raised Himself up and saw no one but the woman, He said to her, 'Woman, where are those accusers of yours? Has no one condemned you?' She said, 'No one, Lord.' And Jesus said to her, 'Neither do I condemn you; go and sin no more'" (John 8:10,11).

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When Reconciliation Is Possible

If you are questioning whether divorce is honoured by God, the answer is obviously no. There is no concession for not loving one another. Surrender yourself, your spouse and your family to God right now. Trust Him to be faithful in His promises.

If neither of you have remarried, determine to make every effort for reconciliation. Trust God to do all in His power to help you. If you claim to be a Christian, be willing to take the initiative with one-sided steps toward reconciliation.

Your first need is to confess and repent of any sin in your life. Ask other believers to agree with you in prayer for your spouse's salvation and growth in the Lord. Your motive should be: salvation and growth for your sake and for your spouse's sake, rather than merely for your welfare, pride or personal vindication. If others are involved, such as a third party, pray for God's forgiveness of them. You must release them to God for your own sake, and theirs (1 John 2:8-11).

Finally, you and your family are so important to God that He has someone ready to help. You don't have to try to work things out alone. Seek the help of a pastor or Christian counsellor.

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When Reconciliation Is Not Possible

If your past attempts for reconciliation have failed, God has a better plan. Begin your new life by reorienting yourself (Romans 12:2). Seek counsel and spiritual help. Christian fellowship and knowledge of God's Word are indispensable in helping you to avoid previous mistakes. You need to grow spiritually and have the understanding and support of God's family, the Church. Accept no substitute. Avoid the mistake made by so many who seek an answer to loneliness, hurt, frustration, etc., in the wrong places.

Divorce is not the unpardonable sin. Even to those who had been caught in sin, Jesus forgave them with admonishment, "...go and sin no more" (John 4:1-42; 8:10,11).

Admit your error, confess your sin and repent. There must be Godly sorrow (1 John 1:8,9; 2:9-11). Then go on with a renewed dedication to God. The temptation to hate your spouse or others involved must be resisted (1 John 2:8-11). In order that you not fall victim to bitterness, resentment and the desire for revenge, God's Word says that you must be willing to forgive.

Even as you ask God to forgive you, ask Him to also forgive your estranged spouse and any others involved (such as a third party). Ask God to give you a love for your spouse and any others. Then praise Him for the answer. As you honour God with that praise, He will honour you (1 Samuel 2:30b). His desire is that you have your physical, emotional and spiritual health restored. As you bless those who spitefully use you, or treat you cruelly in any way, God will bless you. What you sow now is what you will reap later.

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As You Pray

Ask God to forgive all those involved and to produce the fruit of the Spirit (love, joy, peace, etc.) in all concerned. Also pray for the fruit of the Spirit to be produced within you.

If you are a believer in Jesus, you can rebuke and resist Satan for trying to destroy you, your family and others involved. Stand against him and with your spouse. You can be the intercessor. Don't give Satan any concession. Be firm against him, in Jesus' name. Above all, minister praise to God (the overcomer). He will honour your praise. Trust in Him. He will give you peace in your time of need.

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Divorce

What Scripture Says

When Reconciliation Is Possible

When Reconciliation Is Not Possible

As You Pray

Suggested Reading

PRAYER CENTRE