Children & Discipline

It is the nature of most, if not all, children to be disobedient and/or rebellious toward parents, guardians and/or other authorities. It is normal and to be expected, yet it must be corrected for the sake of the child and all concerned.

When a child is brought up according to Scriptural principles, he/she will continue to follow those principles later in life. The Bible clearly teaches that parents or guardians are responsible for training and disciplining their children until the time their children are no longer dependent upon them (Proverbs 22:6).

• What Scripture Says
• Suggestions On Child Discipline
• The Rules of Discipline Should Be:
• As You Pray
• Suggested Reading

 

What Scripture Says

"You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might. And these words which I command you today shall be in your heart; you shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up" (Deuteronomy 6:5-7).

"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it" (Proverbs 22:6).

"Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction" (Proverbs 19:18).

"And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord" (Ephesians 6:4).

"...one who rules his own house well, having his children in submission with all reverence" (1 Timothy 3:4). This is also one of the qualifications of a spiritual leader. "That they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children" (Titus 2:4).

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Suggestions On Child Discipline

Your first concern should always be a child's salvation relationship with Jesus Christ. A child who has a good knowledge of the Bible gained through Sunday school and your family's daily devotions will have a good, strong foundation for life.

In communicating with your children, speak to them on their own level of understanding. Make it clear what you expect of them. Do not punish them in anger. Set the example you want them to follow, remembering that what you do will be more effective than what you say. When you establish guidelines for children, stick to them. Take your children with you to church and let them see you worship God and pray.

Father and mother, if both are in the family, must present a unified front. There should be no parental disagreement in front of a child. Don't be "wishy-washy." Be specific in all instructions and discipline.

Recognize and teach a child that parental responsibility extends over public school education, club, group, or any organization's efforts or influences. Parents or guardians must be faithful to teach a child about Christ. His promises are "Yea" and "Amen" concerning your child.

Ask the Lord to show you how to properly discipline your child. Determine if there is a situation in the home which is directly contributing to any behavioural problems which may exist, such as the mother working, etc. Administer discipline according to the child's age and transgression.

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The Rules of Discipline Should Be:

1. Never discipline in anger.
2. Always explain why you are disciplining the child.
3. Demonstrate your love afterwards.
4. Always express forgiveness after corrective measures have been taken.
5. Never mention the subject again. Treat the child as if it never happened.
6. Follow through with discipline. Make sure a command is obeyed.
7. Correct disobedience.

If you make a mistake, apologize and ask for forgiveness. And remember, nothing will substitute for spending time with a child. Ask God to give you a great love for your children. Note all the praiseworthy things about each child and share them with him/her. In this way, you will encourage rather than discourage.

If you find yourself being constantly critical, it may be that you need to recognize the individuality of your child. You should not expect him/her to be a carbon copy of you. Each child has certain natural, God-given gifts and abilities. Look for these talents and encourage the child in these areas.

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As You Pray

Pray with your children, encouraging them to join in prayer with you. Assure them that you will continue to pray for them. If necessary, lead them in a model prayer.

Spend time in prayer daily for your children. In Biblical times, it was traditional with God's people (the Jews) to pronounce a blessing upon their children. You can do the same. Bless your children with a benediction of love and encouragement as you pray.

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Suggested Reading

Read Dare To Discipline by James Dobson and other books recommended by your pastor or Christian bookstore.

Instruction Deuteronomy 4:9
Correction Proverbs 13:24; 22:15
Exhortation Proverbs 8:32; 10:1; Ephesians 6:1-13; Luke 2:49; 2 Timothy 3:15

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Crossroads is happy to help.  In fact, that's the whole reason we exist as a ministry.  The daily 100 Huntley Street telecast and the 24-hour-a-day Telephone Ministry line are here for the same reason.  You may want to call us as you are reading this: 1-866-273-4444

God loves you and we love you!  Please give us the privilege of doing our best to help more. For further ministry, you may contact the Crossroads Ministry Centre by writing to:

Crossroads Christian Communications Inc.
Attn: National Ministry Centre
PO Box 5100
Burlington, Ontario     L7R 4M2