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Abuse

There is Hope for Everyone
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There is Hope for Everyone

For everyone there is hope. There is an end to personal pain. It may be a difficult road to travel for awhile, but with God's hand in yours, He will gently guide you. He can, in fact, restore you completely and as the Bible says, repay to you "the years the locust has eaten" (Joel 2:25).

This is, by no means, to trivialize the emotional pain you have experienced or perhaps are even now experiencing. There are symptoms in adults which may well indicate past days of childhood abuse: deep inferiority; poor ability to trust; anger; unresolved identifications or "fixations"; difficulty maintaining meaningful relationships; feelings of shame, guilt or fear; etc.

The heart of Jesus is broken for you. How He longs to reach down and place His nail-scarred hand in yours and draw you to Himself! Everyone of us suffers, to some extent, the wrongdoings of others forced upon us. We need to come to a humble place of honesty before Him pouring out all our heart's brokenness and allowing the Lord to speak when all is silent to gradually build up those broken places. "Be still," says the Lord, "and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).

Ask, seek and knock, as Jesus spoke of in Matthew 7:7. Keep knocking until you find a good Christian counsellor who is trained in your particular area of hurt. Whether it be the result of emotional, sexual, or mental abuse, you need someone to help lead you through the process of healing and forgiveness.

Make sure you take the very first step to accept Jesus' gift of life for you by inviting Him to be your own Saviour and Lord. The Bible tells us that "all have sinned and fallen short of God's glory" (Romans 3:23). A simple prayer of repentance and acceptance from your heart to God's, will ensure that this vital step has been taken.

The pain may be very deep within you. The betrayal of trust you have experienced is something no one else can fully understand. It may be difficult for you to believe that God even understands or cares. Before Jesus died on the cross for every sin mankind would ever commit, His sweat became like "great drops of blood" (Luke 22:44). Further on in this chapter, the betrayer Judas gave Him into enemy hands with the sign of a kiss. Jesus' response was, "Judas, are you betraying the Son of man with a kiss?" He was grieved at this obvious fact.

Jesus was then taken to the Roman court where He was convicted and crucified. Crucifixion was known to be the most agonizing death ever devised by man. Jesus died this way for you, as well as for the whole world.

Christ showed His love to mankind by forgiving us of our sin so that we might be redeemed to Himself. Judas could have sought the forgiveness of God, but instead hung himself. How terrible an outcome, since God's forgiveness was available to him had he only received it.

Jesus has so graciously forgiven, setting the example for us all. Out of our love for Him and a desire to be free whole people, Jesus said that we must forgive others. There are no exceptions to this rule although it is hard and may even seem impossible. Jesus went on to say, "But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses" (Matt. 6:15).

In the honesty of your heart, you can pray: "Lord, I really don't want to forgive. You know how I feel. Since Your Word says that You see into the heart of every man and woman, I won't try to hide anything. Your Word also says that I must forgive. So right now I choose to forgive. I choose to place all the hurt and resentment that I feel into Your hands. Please do a miracle in me and let me begin to feel forgiveness toward those who have hurt me."

This is an honest prayer that God will hear. Be patient, knowing that your healing may take time as God reveals specific hurts you must deal with. There may also be areas where it really is important for you to have a wise friend, counsellor, or prayer partner who is committed to walk with you through the healing process.

One thing you could do on your own is write a journal about how you are feeling and what you have experienced. Remember to address your feelings to someone in particular; perhaps a parent, sibling, friend, even God whoever you feel has really let you down. It is important for you to express your feelings by writing them out. I believe this will help you since God always works in an atmosphere of truth: "...the truth shall make you free" (John 8:32).

Although the past is and always will be a part of you, it is not your whole story. You have a present and a future. The future is yours. You can make it what you want it to be with the grace of God. It is so pointless to lose the rest of your life due to the pain of your past. However, you will need to commit yourself to a real rehabilitation process. You may even have to grit your teeth and insist, "I will be well!"

There is a direct relationship between the effectiveness of this process and the amount of time one can devote to Scripture. Be as consistent as you can, even if this means that you only read "bite-sized" portions of the Bible. Read them every day, as often as you can. Also, don't forget to pray! A good prayer partner is most valuable, although the Lord has a way of bringing healing to one who is truly seeking. Remember the verse in Matthew 7:7: "Ask..., Seek..., Knock...."

It is good to pray to the Lord in general terms at first by forgiving and releasing those who have hurt you, and by asking for His cleansing to wash over you completely. Then, as the Lord reveals certain instances to you, it is necessary to release them again specifically to the Lord.

It would be helpful to have a knowledgeable prayer partner or professional Christian counsellor pray along with you during the process.

The Bayridge Family Centre and it's team (psychologists, pastoral counsellors and physicians) is located here at the Crossroads Centre in Burlington, Ontario. If you do not reside within this vicinity, please call the Crossroads Ministry prayer line in your area.

The journey to rebuild (perhaps even to build for the first time) a self-esteem that has been shattered is a difficult journey. It is one whereby you must learn to: 1) refuse the effects of the past, 2) nurture and affirm yourself in the present, and 3) begin to achieve in ways that will provide a sense of satisfaction and accomplishment for your future.

God can provide you with the strength you need and will be faithful to lead you as you learn to trust Him anew. You may only take "baby steps" at first, but it will so thrill the father-heart of God as He sees your genuine effort. Perhaps your view of God simply cannot encompass Him as a loving Father because of your own past experiences. Remember, one step at a time. Jesus will be faithful to hold your hand and gently guide you through each stage of healing into wholeness and freedom from the past.

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Abuse

There is Hope for Everyone

Suggested Reading

PRAYER CENTRE